The Pain No One Warned You About That Hits After YOU Break Up With Someone
Maybe you’ve been uphappy for some time, and just didn’t know how to end it or were anxious about doing it. And then you finally did it. You broke up with that person who was about as good for you as a diet made entirely of energy drinks and gas station sushi. Congratulations! You should be celebrating, right? Cue the balloons, the confetti, the parade in your honor—except, instead of feeling free, you start to notice that you’re feel like you just got hit by a tidal wave of sadness, regret, and the sudden urge to text them "U up?" at 2 AM.
What gives?! You broke up with them because they weren’t good for you, so why does it feel like you’ve just been personally victimized by your own decision? Let’s talk about it.
The Loneliness Monster Creeps In
One of the hardest parts of leaving a relationship—yes, even a dumpster fire of a relationship—is the empty space it leaves behind. Sure, they were dramatic, annoying, unreliable, or allergic to basic communication, but at least you had someone. Now, it’s just you, your phone, and a dog who seems mildly concerned about why you’re binge-watching sad rom-coms and can’t seem to stop crying of get out of bed.
Loneliness makes your brain do weird things, like suddenly remembering only the good times. You start romanticizing the way they used to hold your hand—conveniently forgetting they also held onto their phone during every conversation like it was their lifeline.
Regret: The Unwanted Houseguest
Regret is like that friend who crashes on your couch "for a few days" and is somehow still there six months later. It sneaks in with questions like:
"Was it really that bad?"
"Maybe I overreacted?"
"What if they actually were my soulmate, but I just didn’t appreciate their unique talent for never texting back?"
Your brain is playing tricks on you. Remember, you left for a reason. This wasn’t a spontaneous decision made in a caffeine-fueled rage. (Unless it was... in which case, it’s probably still the right call.)
How to Surf the Wave Instead of Drowning in It
So, what now? How do you survive this massive emotional wave without diving headfirst into bad decisions? Try these:
Write Yourself a Breakup Reminder – Make a list of all the reasons you left. Stick it to your mirror, your fridge, your forehead—wherever you need it when regret tries to gaslight you.
Channel That Energy – Pick up a new hobby, like boxing (great for channeling frustration) or pottery (also great because you can pretend you’re molding a new, better version of yourself—very cinematic).
Call Your Best Friend, Not Your Ex – Your best friend will remind you why you left. Your ex will just remind you why you should've left sooner.
Laugh at Yourself – Healing is weird. One day, you’re fine; the next, a Taylor Swift song reduces you to tears in the grocery store. Roll with it.
Rebuild YOU – Who were you before this relationship? Who do you want to be now? The best revenge is becoming so ridiculously happy that even your past self is jealous.
Final Thoughts
Breaking up with someone who wasn’t good for you is like getting a flu shot—it stings at first, but it’s ultimately for your own good. Give yourself time. Lot’s of it. You won’t feel this way forever. And someday, when you’re in a way better place, you’ll look back and think, "Wow, I really almost texted them at 2 AM, huh? Glad I dodged that wave."
And you if are having a hard time getting through this, and want to make sure your next relationship is something that aligns with what you deserve, let’s work together! Schedule your free 15 minute call to find out how I can help!
