Are you feeling lost, confused, hurt, angry, or difficulty accepting a breakup or ending of a relationship?
Emotional Recovery After Breakup
Breakup Therapy in Long Beach, Orange County, and Los Angeles California
Therapy After a Breakup: Healing, Growth, and Moving Forward
Breakups are some of life’s most emotionally challenging experiences. Whether it's the end of a long-term relationship, a marriage, or even a short-term romance, the emotional impact can be deep and far-reaching.
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions—grief, sadness, anger, loneliness, or even relief. But even though it may feel overwhelming at times, a breakup can also be a chance to heal, learn, and grow.
As a therapist specializing in supporting individuals through the pain of a breakup, I use a combination of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you navigate the emotional turmoil, gain insights into yourself, and move forward with a renewed sense of clarity and confidence.
Why Breakups Can Be So Painful
The emotional intensity of a breakup often feels like a deep wound.
The end of a relationship can leave us questioning our self-worth,
feeling disconnected from our identity, and struggling with intense feelings of grief or rejection.
It’s not uncommon to experience emotions that resemble the stages of grief—shock, sadness, anger, bargaining, and sometimes even a sense of denial.
The pain of a breakup can also feel physical.
Neuroscience research shows that emotional pain from a breakup activates the same areas in the brain as physical pain, which is why the hurt can feel so overwhelming.
The good news…
healing is not only possible, but it can also be transformative.
Therapy offers a space to process your emotions, understand what you’re going through, and begin to rebuild your life and your sense of self.
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Feelings of sadness, anger, confusion, and betrayal often surface. It can be challenging to navigate these emotions, leading to overwhelming distress.
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Many people identify themselves partially through their relationship. A breakup can lead to a sense of lost identity and require time to rediscover who they are as individuals.
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The absence of a partner can create profound feelings of loneliness. This can be amplified if the individual relied on their partner for companionship and support.
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After a breakup, negative self-talk can emerge. Individuals might blame themselves for the relationship's end, questioning their worth or desirability.
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Experiences of heartbreak can lead to apprehension about future intimacy, causing fear and anxiety around building new connections.
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It's common to dwell on the good times shared with a partner, leading to regrets about the relationship and what could have been done differently.
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Understanding how to move forward can be one of the hardest parts of a breakup, particularly when unresolved feelings linger.
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Breakups can alter social dynamics, with friends feeling torn between the two parties. This shift can make socializing more complex and uncomfortable.
Why Therapy after a break up?
How I can help you after a break up
Processing Feelings in a Safe Place
Break up are so so hard. I offer a judgment free space, to process as much as you need. I get curious with you, and help you to understand and also gain the closure that sometimes you don’t get from your ex.
Learn ways to cope with the changes
I offer suggestions and skills to help you through the discomfort and time that you just want to fast forward to.
Regain Hope
I help explore any negative beliefs you made be holding on to. I used EMDR to process the most challenging parts of your relationship in order to get you feeling more like yourself again, and hopeful for future relationships!
How Different Therapy Approachs Can Help You After a Breakup
EMDR: Processing Trauma and Emotional Wounds
EMDR is a powerful and effective therapeutic approach, especially for those who have experienced emotional trauma or distress after a breakup. This method works by helping you process unresolved memories or emotions related to the breakup—whether it’s feelings of rejection, abandonment, or betrayal.
Through bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements or tapping), EMDR helps rewire the brain’s response to traumatic memories. Over time, this reduces the intensity of the emotional charge associated with those memories, helping you release the pain more effectively.
For clients who feel "stuck" in emotional loops or who experience flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or intense emotional reactions triggered by the breakup, EMDR can be transformative. It allows you to reprocess and heal past wounds, ultimately freeing you from the emotional grip of the breakup.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Healing Inner Conflict and Regaining Self-Compassion
After a breakup, you may find yourself grappling with conflicting emotions or self-criticism. Perhaps you feel torn between wanting to get back together with your ex and knowing deep down that the relationship is over. You might even find yourself blaming or berating yourself for mistakes made during the relationship or wishing you had acted differently.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach that helps you understand and heal internal conflicts. IFS posits that we all have different "parts" of ourselves—like the inner critic, the wounded child, the protector, or the idealizer—each with its own voice, feelings, and motivations. Sometimes, these parts can feel in conflict with each other, especially after a breakup, when emotions are heightened and confusing.
Through IFS, we’ll work together to identify these parts of yourself, understand their roles, and help them work in harmony. For example, the part of you that feels angry or hurt after the breakup might be in conflict with the part that wants to heal or move on. By bringing compassion and understanding to each part, we can create internal balance, promote healing, and help you regain a sense of emotional coherence.
IFS is particularly helpful for people who struggle with negative self-talk, self-blame, or inner turmoil after a breakup. It helps you reconnect with your inner sense of self-worth, reduce self-criticism, and develop healthier emotional boundaries.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Challenging Negative Thoughts and Rebuilding Healthy Patterns
CBT is a practical and evidence-based therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns. After a breakup, it’s common to experience intrusive thoughts, such as "I’ll never find love again," "I wasn’t good enough," or "I’ll always be alone." These thoughts can deepen the pain of the breakup and make it harder to move forward.
In CBT, we will work together to identify these unhelpful thoughts and challenge their validity. We’ll explore how your thoughts influence your feelings and behaviors, and learn new ways of thinking that promote healing and self-compassion. Over time, CBT helps you replace negative thought patterns with healthier, more balanced perspectives, allowing you to cope more effectively with the emotions of a breakup.
CBT is also a great tool for addressing anxiety, stress, or rumination that may arise during or after a breakup. It teaches coping skills to manage distressing thoughts and emotions, helping you feel more empowered and grounded.
