What to Do After Finding Out You Were Cheated On

Discovering infidelity in a relationship can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. It’s an emotional shock that brings up anger, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. While there’s no “right” way to respond, there are steps you can take to process the situation and prioritize your well-being.

1. Take a Breath (or Several)

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, but reacting in the heat of the moment might lead to regret later. Give yourself time to process the initial shock. Take deep breaths, go for a walk, or lean on a trusted friend to vent your feelings.

2. Acknowledge Your Emotions

It’s okay to feel hurt, betrayed, angry, or even numb. All of these emotions are valid, and you don’t need to suppress them or “move on” immediately. Journaling, crying, or talking to someone you trust can help you sort through the whirlwind of feelings.

3. Set Boundaries

Decide what contact (if any) you want with your partner as you process what’s happened. Setting boundaries, like taking space or limiting conversations, can give you clarity and protect your emotional energy during this vulnerable time.

4. Avoid Blaming Yourself

Infidelity is a choice your partner made, and it reflects on their actions—not your worth. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for their decision to cheat.

5. Seek Support

This isn’t something you have to face alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. A professional can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and help you decide what’s next for your relationship.

6. Decide What You Need

Take time to reflect on what’s best for you. Do you want to rebuild trust and work through the betrayal, or do you feel it’s time to let go? There’s no right or wrong answer, but it’s essential to make this decision based on your values and needs, not out of guilt or pressure. Want some self reflection questions to figure this out? Check out my Blog.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

After a betrayal, self-care can feel like an uphill battle, but it’s crucial. Focus on small acts of care—getting enough sleep, eating nourishing meals, and engaging in activities that bring you peace or joy.

Moving Forward

Finding out you’ve been cheated on is heartbreaking, but it’s not the end of your story. You deserve honesty, respect, and love—whether that means rebuilding trust or walking away. Whatever you decide, know that healing is possible, and you’re not alone in navigating this painful chapter.