Self-Love After a Breakup

Ugh. Your heart hurts so much. I know, I’ve been where you are. You might be feeling like someone just ripped your heart out, stompted on it, and now you are left confused and deeply hurt.

“When will I feel better?” you might ask? Well the truth is everyone heals differently. But in the meantime, its good practice to prioritize your wellbeing, through being kind and nurturing to yourself during this period of emotional recovery.

You can start with prioritizing yourself and practicing self-love by caring for yourself emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually, surround yourself by people who love you and stay confident about your growth (although it might take time to see it) at the end of all of this. Keep reading to get ideas on how to nurture and love yourself through the grief.

1. Emotional Care

✔ Allow Yourself to Grieve – Journal, cry, or talk to a trusted friend or therapist. Honor your feelings without judgment.
✔ Limit Contact with Your Ex – Create space to heal by setting boundaries. Avoid checking their social media.
✔ Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself with kindness. A breakup does not define your worth.
✔ Seek Support – Connect with friends, family, or a therapist for guidance and reassurance.
✔ Engage in Mindfulness & Reflection – Meditate, practice deep breathing, or read books about healing and growth (The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz can be a great resource).

2. Physical Self-Care

✔ Prioritize Sleep – Aim for 7–9 hours of restful sleep. Create a calming nighttime routine (dim lights, avoid screens, and listen to soothing music).
✔ Nourish Your Body – Prepare balanced, comforting meals. Focus on whole foods like proteins, veggies, and healthy fats. Stay hydrated.
✔ Move Your Body – Engage in activities that make you feel good (yoga, walking, strength training, or dance). Movement helps process emotions.
✔ Release Tension – Consider massages, stretching, or warm baths with Epsom salts to relax your body.

3. Mental & Spiritual Well-Being

✔ Reframe Negative Thoughts – Notice self-critical thinking and replace it with supportive, growth-oriented perspectives.
✔ Reignite Joy – Rediscover hobbies or try new activities that bring you fulfillment (painting, music, gardening, etc.).
✔ Create Rituals for Letting Go – Write a letter to your ex (you don’t have to send it) or engage in symbolic actions like lighting a candle for closure.
✔ Practice Gratitude – Each day, list three things you’re grateful for. This shifts focus from loss to abundance.
✔ Engage in Spiritual Practices – If it resonates with you, connect with meditation, prayer, or time in nature for deeper healing.

4. Social & Relationship Healing

✔ Surround Yourself with Love – Spend time with people who uplift and support you.
✔ Set Boundaries – Say no to draining interactions and protect your emotional energy.
✔ Explore New Connections – Join a community, take a class, or engage in group activities to create meaningful interactions.
✔ Resist the Rebound Urge – Give yourself time before jumping into a new relationship. Healing comes first.

5. Future-Focused Growth

✔ Set Small, Exciting Goals – Plan a trip, start a project, or work toward something that inspires you.
✔ Redefine Your Identity – Reconnect with who you are outside of the relationship. What do you love? What dreams have you set aside?
✔ Create a Vision for Love & Life – Envision the kind of relationship and life you want to build. What lessons will you carry forward?

💖 Reminder: Healing is a journey. Some days will feel heavy, and others will feel lighter. Be patient with yourself. Every step you take is a step toward renewal and deeper self-love. 💖If you are seeking a therapist in California that specializes in breakups, look no further, I can help. Click the link below to contact me and schedule your call!

Hi! I’m Nicole and I’m a Licensed Therapist in California.

I specialize in breakups, relationship problems, and relational trauma. Reach out today to schedule your free call!